


morning sun.

by rivainitea



Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, M/M, Morning Kisses, how do exos kiss help, past angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 15:01:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29902866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rivainitea/pseuds/rivainitea
Summary: There are things Zavala is better at showing than saying, and yet he tries his best to use every word he knows in his vocabulary that can possibly explain how much the Exo lying close to his chest means to him.
Relationships: Male Guardian & Zavala (Destiny)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 4





	morning sun.

_Clink. Clank. Clink. Clank._

No one can hear it but him. The inner machinations of his own body, his vessel, working as they wake the mind from its slumber. Of course, he didn't need to lie down and rest every night. He was built to last, and with the Exo Training from the Europan Golden Age, he was more than capable of living without a few weeks of sleep. 

But he is also  capable of sleeping, and now, he actually has an excuse to tell the faint Clovis Bray voice in his brain. 

His excuse being a large Awoken Vanguard Commander sleeping soundly and tightly around his chest. He was warm, and the lights that flickered under his skin danced to the warmth that slowly flowed. Or at least he thought Zavala felt warm. He couldn't tell whether it was his body absorbing the heat from the sunlight sneaking through the blinds, or if Zavala's body was absorbing it and sharing it with his body.

He didn't know his body very well. After all, he wasn't designed to. The only ones who held concrete memories of his body were either the Clovis Bray A.I deep in Bray Exoscience, or Zavala.

Were they butterflies in his stomach, or signals his body was sending to him, urging him to find food so that the remains of his human mind can pretend that he still has a flesh-and-heart body?

He found that he didn't care, and that Zavala breathing steadily, besides for a few stutters where he took deep breaths, was enough for him. The rise and fall of his chest was hypnotizing, and he didn't mind spending his morning watching it.

This was becoming more of a familiar sight with each day. The Vanguard commander with his face planted somewhere on his Exo plating, his fingers tightly holding the soft material of grey fake flesh under his plating, legs tangled with metal. And Santiago was nothing if not a love machine.

Strong, big, metal arms found their way to Zavala's hips, blue skin pressed under flexible golden metal plating and soft, grey, Europan silicone.

"You're up early." Zavala stated as he rose from his sleep, blinking slowly, voice raspy and low, not quite a whisper, but a comfortable morning lullaby.

"It's natural at this point. There's usually at least three distress signals going off around this hour," He replies, dismissive of the Awoken's worried tone, his hands moving from his hips to settle on Zavala's shoulders, instinctively moving up and down slowly, massaging and working on the knots between muscles. There's not much he's used to do on an empty day such as this. The flame re-lit between him and Zavala is not all too recent, but definitely still a new feeling for him. 

He's grown accustomed to waking up with an S.O.S signal buzzing in the radio he keeps on his nightstand, or running errands for his fireteam. 

"Don't I know it," He says with an all too knowing half-smile, calloused hands moving to gently hold the hands that worked his shoulders, kissing the soft silicone material that became exposed once his fingers were bent. No knuckles to kiss, but Zavala works with what he's got. Always has. "Running from the covers when sunlight has barely settled," He paused, only to move closer to Santiago, pressing a kiss to his neck, right leg finding its way in between the Exo's legs, "Leaving me with an empty bed..." Another kiss, this time at the junction of his jaw and metal cheeks, lips wandering and tingling with the feeling of Arc constantly coursing through an Exo's body, his lips now making a full smile upon hearing the bigger man's content sigh. Zavala did not mean true resentment or distress, and this Santiago knew well. The commander liked to playfully tease him, yet his reasons were perhaps better hidden than shown.

Part of Zavala still questioned whether Santiago trusted him or not. Of course, he wouldn't blame him if the answer was 'No.' In fact, he could barely begin to believe he was sharing a bed with him again. He was unworthy of it, and Zavala thanked the Light since it did not appear to bother him. 

He constantly felt the need to test the waters, see how far Santiago is willing to handle, how far they've gotten back, how far away they are. Years, a full decade, without a single letter. A single exchange. There was a fire inside him, slowly kindling itself, building tension and paranoia, until it led him astray. 

That was, until the Red War began. Zavala could not afford to be picky, or careful, with who he put in the front lines.

A story for another day. Though, even if he wished his intentions hidden, Santiago saw right through him, for better or worse.

"And you hurry to me as soon as I am relieved from my duties." Santiago simply adds, albeit half-heartedly, fans whirring lightly partially to keep the sunlight from heating up his body too much, and partially to deal with the way his brain struggled to process how intimate Zavala wanted to be with him. He never doubted his capability, only his willingness. And for that, Zavala suffered every day.

There was, sometimes, hesitance in the way he touched Zavala at night. He could not hide the winces and the way his system panicked at the seemingly impossible thought of being wanted again. Though Zavala has never laid a finger on him with bad intentions, nor hurt him physically, there is only so much an old Exo body can take at once after years of having no one close to him. 

And yet, loving feels so easy now.

He wished and longed for it so badly, and yet he just cannot seem to shake the feeling that it will fade away, like it has for the past decade, and Santiago will be left cold in his tent, camped on whatever planet his most recent distress signal came from.

"Yes," He confesses, almost breathless from simply looking at Santiago. It comes out more desperate than he means it to, and it manages to get the Exo's full attention. "I do. Every part of me regrets the countless days where I held myself back, every moment in which I did not worship you, and instead, made you feel unwanted, when that could not be further away from the truth." Zavala states as if there is something stuck in his throat, a knot of regret he can't seem to get rid of. He presses his forehead against Santiago's, muscles quickly relaxing under the feeling of warm metal, "I hurry to you because I have spent the past decade imagining what you would feel like, sound like, look like. And what I have now..." The commander sighs, an unbearably loving smile on his voice as he watches Santiago's metal eyelids fall closer to his 'waterline', eyes and muscles relaxing under the loving attention, "Is better than what I have dreamed of."

If Santiago had a beating heart, it would be jumping out of his chest right now. Instead, his fans have kicked higher and louder now, rendered speechless by the unexpected yet wanted confession.

"You know it hurts me to leave the bed empty for you every day," His hand cups Zavala's face, the man then leaning and nuzzling against the touch on his cheeks, a deep hum of approval sneaking out of his throat, "You know I'm also scared of taking up too much space," 

The way he whispers it sincerely tugs at Zavala's heart and makes him frown. He has this burning, overwhelming, desperate urge to throw everything to the wind, spend his days and years making up to Santiago, filling in the days where he was too scared to make him feel loved, the days where he was too selfish or too paranoid.

But he can't. Nor does Santiago want him to.

He knows the duty of the Vanguard, and he never wanted Zavala to abandon it because of him. What he did want, was a mere 'Good morning', or, 'I love you'. 

Yet Zavala did what he thought was right to keep Santiago safe from the dangers of being a Guardian. And he intends to make it up to him as best he can, every day, with every breath he takes.

"Take up all the space you want," He tells him, half-lidded eyes looking deeply into the infinite purple trance of the Exo's eyes. His hands moved up and down slowly on his body, travelling from his chest to his back, to his hips and then his shoulders, feeling all the details of Europan plating, the carvings and the edges, as well as the soft grey material under it, finally settling 

on Santiago's face, hands cupping it gently, as if he could hurt him by holding him too tight. His fans purred under the attention, closing his eyes to focus on feeling the hands that worshipped his body, imaginary heart skipping a beat. "Take up all the space there is. I want you to feel larger than life. In fact, you  **are** larger than life, and I am tired of being too far in my head to make it known to you."

Santiago feels like he's dreaming. There is a soft warm cloud pooling behind his eyes, but still that nagging feeling that, he'll lean forward to kiss Zavala, and will be met with cold air. Even then, he is a love machine through and through. 

His hands hold Zavala's away from his face, and for a moment he thinks he ruined this, said something wrong or moved too soon. Instead, he finds his hands being placed upon Santiago's neck, around his shoulders, as the Exo leans in, kind eyes closing, and presses the hard lines of his mouth agains Zavala's lips. 

They've done it before, as well as one possibly can, (which is clumsily), and it still manages to catch Zavala off guard. The sudden feeling of Arc tingling around his lips, the pull of Exo hands bigger than his own on his hips, feels familiar and new at the same time.

He doesn't care if he responds to the metal touch against his face all too quickly, and doesn't mind if he finds himself needing it and wanting it with a certain desperation to it.

The way their mouths work on each other feels electrifying, figuratively and literally. There is something about softly sparking metal touching Awoken skin that feels  too  right, and Zavala basks in it. 

They put space between themselves only after a few minutes of lazy, slow, morning kissing, Zavala's lips just a bit swollen, their legs now tangled with the sheets, warm metal feet brushing against blue calves, getting a hearty chuckle out of both of them. 

"I thought I had done something wrong when you held my hands," He confesses, a fakely coy yet gentle smile on his lips, hands drifting to grab Santiago's thigh and bring his leg over his body with ease, the Exo's eyes fluttering in response, "But you treat me with a kindness I don't deserve."

"I did not mean for it to feel like chastisement," He says sincerely, one hand moving to hold Zavala's up, the lines of his lips pressed against his knuckles, while his other hand rested on the commander's hips.

There was something to be said about the way Zavala talked about himself. A certain disdain, or resentment, in his voice. Something that built up the more he longed for Santiago along the years. 

"I hope the kiss made up for it."

"Hm... Well, perhaps if you want to do it again... I need more to come to a conclusion."

**Author's Note:**

> i malegirlbossed my way through this (meaning i didnt reread it after i finished it) so good luck with my typos 😔🙏🏼


End file.
